That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
