He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
pray to the hookup gods
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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