The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
