can u get pink eye on your cock?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
