so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
