I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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