Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
