Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
