I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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