He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
