we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
