you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
