Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
