Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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