I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
