i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
