I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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