I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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