it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
