Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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