in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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