All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
