It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
