What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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