No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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