Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
