The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
