I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
