Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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