OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
