my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
is that a dick in a sweater?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
