This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
