Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
