shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
