Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
