How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
