that's an acceptable place to lick
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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