she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You smell like stripper and shame
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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