so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
