Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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