Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
