Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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