Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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