why didn't you poke me back
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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