Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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