i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
