My nipple is on Facebook.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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