oh god the rape fog is back!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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