so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
