I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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