He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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